Not to be
by Yueres De Leo
Summary: Since the beggining, she knew she couldnt let them now. So if she expected to fool the thirteen dwarves she didn't quite know why she was helping in order to actually help them, she was going to need the ability she forced herself to hide for so many years, hoping to be as worryingly good at it as she once was. Because she couldn't let them know that she was, in fact a woman.
1. Lady

Hi everyone! I have to say, this is my first fic of The Hobbit and I'm really nervous because I have never worked with a gender change, but well, here is my first try. I just hope you like it! My expectation is to upload once a week, if possible, and only if people likes the fic. Enjoy!

A/N: English is not my first language, so please be patient with me.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own The Hobbit.

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Bilbo was a boy's name.

That she knew since she was little, and so did the rest of the shire's habitants- They had all seen the wrath of Belladonna Took's only daughter when she was laughed at for her name and her way of acting, and some of them had even felt it; most of those unfortunates and foolish males still had the scars to prove that, at some point of her life, Bilbo had been more of a Took than she was now a Baggins, and that same amount of people still could not understand how Bungo Baggins, the child's father, was so proud of her for that. Maybe it was because he _had _married a Took himself, and, really, who could forget the countless times the poor hobbit tried to start courting Belladonna? It had showed true determination and utter love, even when she was the one that ended up starting the courting since, apparently, she had been tired of waiting for him to gather the guts to take the first step. Nevertheless, they were one of the happiest couples to be seen around The Shire.

That was when Bilbo herself came in.

In mid September, she was told by her father, when the last leaves fell from the trees with a color that could only be compared with a summer sunset or to the fire itself- The mother had said, quite seriously to the Baggins's family complete horror, while holding the newborn in her arms that it was a sign that her daughter was in fact even more fierce than what she originally thought. Bungo would forever remember that night and those words, since they were the last thing he ever heard from her wife before she closed her eyes, never to open them again. They had been, he told his daughter, the softest sound he had ever heard, almost like a lullaby to sing Bilbo to sleep for the first and last time.

Fierce her mother said she was.

Fierce Bilbo tried her hardest to be.

And after a couple of years she found that she needn't to try in the slightest. To run around The Shire as fast as she could just to feel the breeze hit her face? She was a natural at it; climb trees to get just a glimpse of the world outside the houses she had seen since she was a toddler? As easy as breathing; to walk the forest in search of the elves her mother's book talked about? Each time as exciting as the very first day her father allowed her to go at her own. So it was not a surprise for people to wonder if she was in fact, as her name basically announced it, a boy. At the time she didn't knew why that was exactly a offense, but since the mocking and the laughs of the other young hobbits were directed to her, she was quick to take the matter in her hands and act quickly- You could say that her choice to not use dresses like she should have done since little was a wise one, because, really, do you imagine a girl in a dress rolling doing the hill while trying to harm a young boy with her little hands? _Ridiculous. _

When her father became ill, what seemed truly ridiculous to her was the way she wasted so much time doing nothing but bring unnecessary attention and comments to the family; to hear that the shame that Bungo lived with her as only child was what made him ill? Quite possibly even more hurtful than the old mocks towards her name, or any bruise she had had from one of her 'adventures' in the forest, and by far worse than anything Lobelia Sackville Baggins could ever tell her.

That's why, under the bed of her old room, pressed against the wall and inside a chest with a lock as thick as her front door's wood, she buried her old clothes. Her wooden swords. Her handmade maps of the part of the forest she had walked in search of the elves. Her joke of a bow. And most importantly, she buried Bilbo 'The brave' as deep as it was possible for her, nor just inside that wooden chest, but inside her memory as well.

Bilbo was a boy's name.

But she was now a lady, a true mistress of Bag End.

The lady people said her father had always wanted her to be someday.


	2. Bilbo 'The Brave'

A/N: I'm writing a younger Bilbo, so instead of fifty one she is forty one/three, depends on your imagination as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own The hobbit.

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"We don't want _any _adventures here, thank you! Not today, not tomorrow! And I-I suggest you try other hill or across the water, but not here! Good morning"

Well, now that went well…. For whatever it was.

When she shut the door behind her, Bilbo took a really deep breath while leaning against the wood at her back, suddenly thinking that maybe and just maybe it had not been a good idea to complete that small speech without any pauses. Being breathless while being so nervous was not a good combination in the slightest, and she found that her stomach and her head didn't appreciate so much commotion- She knew that her heart didn'tappreciate it at all. Her hand was on top of the lock before she could even actually think about putting it on its place, blinking a few times in a row when her sensitive ears caught the strange sound coming from the other side of the door, almost instantly looking down at her right.

It almost sounded like… carving.

Now that was a little bit worrying.

To say that she had a small heart attack when she walked to the small window to take a small look outside and saw the wizard's face through it would certainly be a bit of an understanding. And when she stumbled out of the way in an attempt of hiding herself from the old man's eyes behind the corridor's wall, she realized that her heart was still beating so fast that she could actually felt the constant beat in her ears and tightly inside her chest, the same way it had started to beat when the word 'adventure' left Gandalf's lips for the first time in their strange conversation, _if _you call that a conversation- It was not, she needed to say, something she expected- Not that she was expecting to seeing him in front of her house in the first place. She could barely remember the old wizard from her childhood memories, and that was nothing more than a tall figure standing close to beautiful fireworks up in the sky, and she could recall just one or two times where her father mentioned him.

Bilbo didn't know why she had such a twisted luck.

Because, had he really just asked her on an adventure? What kind of question was that, for goodness sake? Really, why did he have to mention the only thing that could quite immediately make her nervous? It was more than a little pathetic the way she flushed at the mere word, and how her mind automatically went years back at the time when she didn't wear skirts and tied her curls back in order to run without anything in her way had been simply stupid. It didn't help that he mentioned her mother, either.

And it was quite possibly that he already knew that.

'_Pull yourself together, Bilbo_' A sigh escaped her lips, pressing a hand to her forehead while trying to not look sideways at the window more than necessary, even when her eyes were already glued to it almost since the very begging, half expecting to see his face once more and mentally preparing for it in case that it actually happened. She didn't know if to laugh or to cry when it didn't happen and she was left to stand there, in the middle of the corridor, staring at some indefinite point of the wall at her right like it was the most interesting object in the world, with nothing but silence to surround her.

At times like that, she really hated how empty her house was.

Sure, every sane hobbit would love their smial more than anything else, and they would miss their warmth even if they were just sitting outside someone else's front porch or walking at the market- She sure loved to read besides the fire, sitting on what had been her father's armchair, with a warm cup of tea to accompany her. But that was as far as it was going to go; and every time she sat on that armchair, she would be reminded of why it was _her _armchair now, and why that was _her _house, and pretty much of how much she missed her father and everything that his mere presence meant. It was not protection what she was seeking, if she was then she would consider the suitors than had appeared on her doorstep more than once, and it was not the kind of comfort that could be achieved by sitting on the front porch.

It was the kind of love that, to that point of her life, she didn't know how to get back.

Bilbo shook her head a little, groaning.

"Now_ this_ is not helping at all"

To speak to the empty spaces of her house didn't help either, mind you.

Maybe it would be a good idea to get a dog.

And so she tried to act like she usually did anyway, setting herself in her _backyard _for afternoon tea and taking a new book with her from the studio, although she had already read it more than three times, but since it was difficult to find interesting books inside The Shire she didn't complain at all. Bilbo tried really hard to not admit that to brush off the nervousness that had settled itself on the bottom of her stomach seemed impossible, nor that she found herself gazing at the woods behind her house more than once, recurring to go a little bit earlier to the market in order to get supper- Kids running around and playing games with each other could, for a couple of minutes, set a small smile on her lips.

That was before her paranoia started to kick in, and everything grey suddenly started to look like a pointy hat- A _wizard's _hat; it had happened so many times that for the moment she thought about starting to make supper and walked in front of her door to get to the kitchen, she had lost count of the sideways glances she had sent to the window's direction, even when it was hard to see through it since it was already dark on the other side. The hobbit shook her head again, mumbling quietly under her breath while turning around and deciding, even if it was stupid, to take the other way to the kitchen.

'_An adventure_' It was most probable that her mother would have smacked her on the head with her glory box if she heard what she was thinking- Even if Bilbo couldn't remember the woman at all, her father's stories had been more than enough for the lady to know that Belladonna Took would have thought of her daughters words as a offense to her very self. And because after a second Bilbo realized how utterly true that was, and how big was the hole that it left on her chest for a second, she tried to mentally snort in order to push her imagination against a corner inside her mind '_Indeed_'

Five minutes later she was pulling the wooden chest from under her old bed.

And close to ten minutes after that, seeing that the clothes were far too small for her after so many years, she found herself pulling pieces of fabric out of the wardrobe in search of the trousers that her Tookish side made her make out of old dresses just a couple of years ago. She wanted to think that it was extremely horrible when they fit perfectly, or when she didn't cry when she fetch an old white shirt from her father's things, or when she stood to look at herself at the mirror in her room and saw the adult version of Bilbo 'The brave', but even when she wanted to fool herself so badly the hobbit couldn't help but notice the small smile her reflection held on her lips.

The ribbons on top of the bed besides the light green dress almost seemed unfamiliar to her. Ironic it was, because what she was seeing in the mirror could pass for an absolutely normal imagine.

If she was a truly a man.

Or as if she still was Bilbo 'The brave'.

She stood quietly looking at her reflection, at the dress behind her and the wooden swords inside the chest by her feet. Silence and emptiness was everything that surrounded her, no one near her to comment on her appearance, so maybe and just maybe….

'_One night cannot hurt, right?_'

Oh, how much Lobelia Sackville Baggins would love to see her that way. Maybe then she would have a true reason to lecture her once or twice every week…

As always the smell of food was the closest thing to a miracle she has ever known. The cooking itself helped her too calm her nerves to the point where she was able of humming while rolling the fish over the fire until it was delicious looking, momentarily forgetting about all the things that had made her so anxious during the day- She was still not sure if she was going to be able to sleep through the whole night, but for the time being she was grateful for the moments of piece. It was so quiet that it was truly hard to believe that anything could happen at all, and, as she set the table and sat with the napkin on top of her lap and one hand already reaching for a lemon, it suddenly seemed ridiculous to think that anything would happen that night.

Then, _of course_, there was a knock on the door.

And that was quite enough to make her as nervous as she had managed not to be those last moments. The picture of the really tall man standing in front of her door made her actually think about what would happen if she didn't move from her place at all or if she pretended to not have heard anything, finish her dinner and went straight to be- Surely, sooner or later he would get tired and walk away, just like he had done that very afternoon, right? And this time, he mot probably was not going to come back, because people as wise as wizards would know that she was not about to agree to whatever he was offering her.

And then everything would go back to normal.

In the morning she would put back inside the chest the clothes she was wearing know, she would close it and then push it under the bed again, making sure of pushing the very memory of it deep inside her mind, and then she would eat breakfast.

Yes, if she didn't move from her place, he would realize that adventures were certainly the most unhobbitly thing to do…

'_I'll hate myself after _this' Was her thought when she found herself waking to the door, the suddenly cold handle in her hand almost automatically, and she was quite sure her body was moving that way to prevent her Baggins side from stopping her- Sometimes, most of the times, being part Took guarantied troubles whenever she wanted to be part of it or not '_I'll definitely hate myself after this_'

What was at the other side of the door was not what she was expecting to see…. At all.

"Dwalin" The man- _The dwarf_, she corrected herself when she noticed the details between the two of them and therefore her mistake, bowed to her without breaking eye contact for even a second, almost like it was some kind of challenge from his part, something that Bilbo would gladly end if she weren't standing on her place with her mouth slightly open in what could only be described as complete confusion, trying to process what was in front of her at that moment without making a fool of herself "At your service"

_…Is that an axe? _

It took her a moment to realize that she was already making a fool of herself, staring at the object at the dwarf's back and standing there without saying a single thing- A second after that she straightened a bit, looking down for a short moment before looking at him again, closing her mouth and opening it again once or twice before she managed to finally say something hopefully close to intelligent or appropriated.

"B-Bilbo Baggins, at yours"

Now, about what happen next, she was not completely sure about it since all of that looked more like a dream to her than anything else her mind could come up with.

A really strange dream.

A really strange and unpleasant dream at that, just to make it clear in case you were wondering.

Because the dwarf, Dwalin, who had just ate her whole dinner and after that asked for more food, and the newcomer that present himself as Balin, who she kind of got was Dwalin's brother even when they didn't look alike, started to walk straight inside her pantry without any signs of hesitation in their faces or in their body language, thing that you would most certainly not see in the Shire. And as strange and dumb as it may sound, _that _was when alarms started to sound inside her head, and that was when Bilbo thought that maybe and just maybe she needed to get those dwarves out of her house before it was too late. Too late for what, exactly? She had no idea, but that was precisely what she didn't want to know.

It had to be a sign of some sort when someone knocked on the door again.

She really wanted to believe it had been part of her imagination since the two dwarves didn't move from their places inside the pantry nor did they stop her conversation or looked in the doors direction, but unfortunately, Bilbo knew it had been pretty real. And if whoever was behind that door was a dwarf as well if she didn't move quickly there was the possibility of someone kicking her door down, and since that was not something she fancied to see nor to hear or to live Bilbo had no other option but to turn around and make her way to the door, having the feeling that she was going to regret that very action later- Oh, wait, she was already regretting it. And she had not even opened the door.

And as amusing as it was for a second, she wished she never had actually opened it.

"Fili-"

"And Kili-"

"At your service"

Now that sounded worryingly familiar.

Even the way the bowed seemed worryingly familiar, and by the fact that they were _two _of them standing in her doorstep now, that certainly was a moment to worry a little bit more than before. The hobbit fought with all her might the impulse to look over her shoulder at the corridor that leaded to the kitchen and consequently leaded to the dwarves that now were most probably emptying her pantry, trying to place the events in an order that would make some kind of sense and would give her some kind of explanation since, apparently, no one was going to give her one.

_I shall announce the others. _

Gandalf's words repeating inside her head _almost _made her groan at loud, limiting herself to do it mentally while closing her eyes briefly, cursing the wizard with every words that as lady she couldn't afford to say out loud, dressed with a skirt or not. Now why did she felt as if she had been set up from the very beginning? Sending dwarves to her house was way worse than anything she was expecting all day, nor was it near something she was preparing herself to confront in case he made another appearance. And people said _Tooks _were disgustingly unpredictable; just if they knew…

"You must be Mr. Boggins!"

All honest, at that moment she didn't _even care_ one of them had actually dismiss her as a man.

Her father was most probably rolling in his grave, but it still didn't matter.

"No, you can't come in, you came to the wrong house" For a second Bilbo was quite proud for her quick thinking when she reached for the door knob and pullet the wooden door with the intention of closing it in their faces even if that meant she had to deal with angry dwarves after it, wondering why she didn't do that when Dwalin first came, just to be stopped by a foot just seconds before she managed to close the door. She certainly didn't know how a snort didn't escape her _then, _nor how the curses flying through her mind managed to stay inside her, because Eru _knew _that wouldn't be proper at all, _even _when they didn't know she was a lady. It was most probable neither Balin or Dwalin knew she was a woman either.

"Has it been cancelled?" The black haired one spoke first, looking confused and slightly started, and even if that was not the moment for something like that Bilbo couldn't help but notice that he was younger than the rest, even in hobbits terms- He seemed to notice something on her as well, because Bilbo saw how he blinked a few times before taking half a step back, eyes flickering over her, suddenly making the hobbit feel pretty self conscious; not that he made any comment from what he saw, but it was enough that he had already mistaken her for a man… and maybe that was a good thing regarding the situation and the fact that she was _not _wearing a skirt.

"No one told us" Added the second one, blond her braded in different sections, and this time she had the accuracy to think that maybe they were brothers as well. There was just _something _in their faces that resembled each other too much- But that was not the time to think about it either.

"What? Nothing has been cancelled" It occurred to her after the words left her mouth that she had to lie and say something like 'yes, it has been, good night' and close the door in their faces while she had the opportunity of actually doing so. That idea was so good that it didn't help at all when she realized that she had just most probably ruined every opportunity she had had of kicking them out of her house- _If _she had any in the first place.

"That's a relief" It was pathetic the way her intent of blocking the door were ruined by a simple push of one hand from the youngest one, consequently pushing her out of the way before they both entered her house in a way that she didn't quite know what to make out of it. Maybe it was the fact that she didn't know what to _think _of the situation itself, but it didn't take to be a genius to know that whatever was happening and whatever was going to happen next was completely out of her control and it entirely was that wizard's fault. Granted, she didn't quite gave him the opportunity to speak about whatever he had in mind, but that didn't mean he had the right to send strangers to her door step.

'_Now, what…?_' You could call it paranoia, but she didn't know what to think of so much movement from the two brothers that were now standing in front of her- Well, from one them since the other one (Kili, was it?) was pretty much walking around looking at the ceiling and the walls like it was very amusing what he was seeing, while the other gave her house one look before turning at her. Her eyes almost immediately narrowed when she noticed how he started to take off his weapons, turning around to face her in the process, obviously meaning to make her hold them for him '_He would not dare_'

"Careful with this, I just got them sharp-" He shut his mouth almost immediately. And then he was smart enough to, quietly and quite quickly as well, place his weapons against the wall besides the door after that, bowing his head a little when he stood straight again and walking remarkable silent towards who obviously was his brother, not even once making eye contact with her again. After all of it those countless encounters with her little cousins and Lobelia Sackville Baggins right at her door step had being of some sort of use, who would have thought 'the glare' was going to actually work on a dwarf…

Nor that she was planning actually meeting one in her life.

"Is nice, this place" Complimented Kili, again walking near her while looking at the ceiling and turning on his heels a couple of times, as if in order to take a better look. His eyes, Bilbo noticed with slight amusement despite the situation, showed something really near childish nature, something she could only compare to her little cousins from her mother side- Something that only an adventurous soul like a Took's could have. She immediately knew that she could not dislike him as much as she would most probably dislike the next person walking through the door "Did you built it yourself?"

"No, it has been in the family for many ye- That's my mother's glory box, could you please don't do that?" That she sort of found him likable didn't mean she was about to let him continue take off the mud of his boots in the edge of said box, nor that she was not able of glaring at him as she had just done with her brother. And since he found the puppy-dog eyes didn't have any kind of effect on her, and amused yet guilty smile was send to her, the young dwarf apparently finding her attitude quite interesting. She didn't fought to urge to roll her eyes when she realized that, if she was like her cousins even more than she had originally thought, soon enough he would be trying to mock her even more.

"Fili, Kili! Come here and help us!" Dwalin's voice boomed from the kitchen, and with nothing more than a curious look in her direction, the two brothers were soon out of her sight. Bilbo took that moment to notice groan like she had wanted to do since the first moment, and press a hand to her forehead- Sure, she needed to go there and somehow try to convince them of getting the hell out of her house, but she was no fool, she knew they were not going to listen to her just like they had ignored her before. Just what wanted those dwarves from her house? From her? They didn't even notice she was not a _he, _for crying out loud!

The loud knocking that interrupted her once more was pretty much the last straw.

"Oh, no- There is nobody home!" A groan left her lips and her eyes closed tightly for a second, wishing that, if that was really a dream, she would wake up. Since it didn't happen and there were more knocks on the other, Bilbo turned around and walked straight to it, a slight frown settled on her face "Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is! And if this is so kind of joke" Hand already around the knob and feeling positively distressed about the situation and the fact that _no one was listening_ _to her_ even when the house they were _invading _was _hers_, Bilbo let out a dry laugh that most certainly showed her emotional state before pulling open the door"I can only say, it is in very poor taste!"

And then quite a large number of dwarves fell to the floor at her feet.

There was a brief moment of utter silence inside her head.

Probably the only three seconds of peace she was going to get that night.

She stared at them, debating between blinking and praying for that to be a dream or to keep her eyes open and to try to figure out what to do next; there was, though, something, or more like someone, that she managed to see from the corner of her eye that caught her attention and made her lift her head to take a better look- There was a taller figure standing behind the pile of dwarves in her floor, his upper body tilted forward in order to see inside her house, and Bilbo could almost swear the smile on his face was an amused one. She certainly didn't find the situation hilarious in the slightest, making sure to _make _him notice her discomfort by glaring at him with narrowed brown eyes, frown in between those same eyes and lips twitched in a way that suggested that she was damn near to her limit, her voice sounding way to aggressive for a lady when the name left her mouth.

"Gandalf"


	3. And then you have him

A/N: English is not my first language.

_This letter: thoughts between other things. _

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit.

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Bilbo knew, oh and how well she knew, that you couldn't judge a whole race for just one individual because there was a high chance somewhere in the world they may be a complete opposite person of the same kin. Like, if by some unfortunate event and work of a really bad luck the first hobbit you ever meet were to be Lobelia Sackville Baggins, then you would think hobbits as a race with complete lack of empathy or full of selfish thoughts, greedy as nothing else you would ever met in your life, but then you could very well meet someone like Hamfast Gamgee, her gardener, and you would think nothing but good things of hobbits. For dwarves, she could say, you could first meet someone like Ori, who very possibly was the sweetest person she have ever met, even when she had had the opportunity of being in his presence just a couple of minutes, and you would thing that dwarves are the kindest race on all middle earth.

And then, you had Thorin Oakenshield.

_Oh, where to **start**?_

Maybe with commenting about his absolute lack of manners.

Or how about his sense of complete and absolute authority? Like the fine example he had given her just a few moments ago, walking inside her house like it didn't even deserve to be his own, with what he thought was grace- And she had to give him that, because even if she wanted to snort at it he _had_ grace, but an annoying one at that-.

But, definitely, to mention his arrogant behavior beyond compare was kind of pointless because if you didn't notice after two or three minutes top of meeting him, then you _certainly _needed to get your head checked by a healer. And that was her opinion _before _Gandalf told her that Thorin was, actually and quite sadly for the people of the blue mountain and the quest since by default he was the leader, a king- Or soon to be king, she didn't quite understand that part and it was not like she was about to ask more about it; she was way too busy trying to act like a proper mistress (or master, in that extremely particular and unexpected case) of Bag End while the black haired dwarf –No doubt Fili and Kili's family, since they looked so much like him- circled her with critical eye, his lips curled in what in Bilbo's opinion was something between a snarl, like what he saw disgusted him, and a mocking smile, like he was about to make fun exactly of what disgusted him.

To her credit, you need to know that she didn't slap him, even when he stood at an arm's length of her, staring at her face with a raised eyebrow and the_ slightest_ hint of mockery in his eyes and voice.

"He looks more like a grocer than a burglar"

… Well, at least not _physically. _

"Well, you don't act much like a leader yourself- Only an arrogant fool would come inside a house that is not his and act as he owns it, insulting his host in the process"

Okay, granted, she was not the most polite host ever and her father was _certainly _rolling in his grave because of her lack of manners, but he very well deserved her words; even when her words did nothing but to earn a glare from the dwarf, one that she welcomed with one of hers. And maybe that was not a good idea, _and_ **_maybe_** she shouldn't find that as exhilarating as Kili and Fili apparently found it, although they used as well the word 'suicidal' which from their own perspective seemed to fit just fine, but since the snarl in his face and the way he almost inaudibly said 'Thank you for your hospitality' had been absolutely priceless, she was not about to regret it.

Even Gandalf was amused by her, hoping to change the subject by talking Thorin into going inside the kitchen in order to eat and recover the energy that he certainly would need after. Whatever he meant with that. To Bilbo it was nothing more than a really nice try of making the oh-so-called-king stop glaring at her like she was dirt beneath his boots, but since he was still glaring at her even when he was already taking a sit by the kitchen, she sure hoped he got the message from her sweetest smile ever- That he was the dirt she was to disgusted to step on.

The scowl in his face told her he did.

_Good. _

Oh, the joys of being dressed like a man and not having to act like a lady.

"Is good to see you in your spirits once more" The old wizard chuckled by her side, apparently finding the situation extremely funny- At least Bilbo knew _she _found it most entertaining, obviously pushing aside the fact that she still didn't like so much people inside her house; the hobbit promptly ignored the little voice at the back of her head that voiced how it was exactly what she had wanted at last, some company. Because, really, now _that _was ridiculous "You should come now, my dear, there is much you still need to hear from them"

"Oh, no more than the explaining you still need to give me" She did her best to glare at him, hands on her hips, feeling a lot better now that she had had the opportunity to take her growing frustration out to someone like the oh-so-called-king "I don't understand what they are doing here Gandalf, and I'm pretty sure _they_ don't understand why I was not what they were apparently expecting" Bilbo looked around, nervously and without noticing it biting her lower lip for a second, making sure the others were far away from them and therefore not capable of listening to their conversation "They don't even know…" The word failed her at last, and at the end she gestured to herself with a hand, refusing to look somewhere else besides the floor, suddenly finding it extremely interesting.

"Are you worried about me not telling them?" She dared to look at his raised eyebrow for a second before signing, trying not to look as small as she felt at that moment, as ironic as it sounded. A shrug of her shoulder was what she could find to show at least a little of what she was feeling at that moment.

"In the contrary, I'm quite thankful for that; they don't think much of me now, what would they think if they knew? Probably as a completely useless creature"

"My dear Bilbo, believe me when I say that I would never insult you in that way" A frown settled itself on his face, and even though she didn't had a hard time believing him the thought was still on her mind, chasing her eyes and clouding them a little with disappointed. Then, something pretty much like mockery crossed his eyes, but it was not the kind of mockery that Thorin had had, so it didn't bother her as much "If I did, I'm pretty sure your mother would come back from where she is just to put me in place" And in the end, his words even made her laugh softly, not loud enough for anyone but him to hear.

"That would be rather nice to see" Another chuckled escaped her.

"Hobbits" He shook his head, but the bit of a small smile on his lips told her how much the situation amused him, and Bilbo didn't really know if to be annoyed by that or something similar to it, since she couldn't help but to stare at him in curiosity- He was tall, obviously _much _taller than her, so her neck was must probably going to end up sore if she didn't stop trying to look at his face while talking "You can learn everything there is no learn from them in a year, and they will still manage to amuse you"

A grin appeared on her face.

"I hope to not make a fool of myself by taking that as a compliment"

"That you would never, for it is one of the greatest compliments I ever paid someone" He laughed as well, putting a hand on top of her shoulder while slowly making their way to where the dwarves were sitting "There is no particular reason for keeping it as a secret, but things will be easier that way" The wizard confided her, a kind of serious look on his face. It was a little bit unsettling the way he could change so much in a matter of a second, going from one very side to the other, and she had the feeling the surprised wouldn't stop there whenever she wanted to be part of it or not. A slightly irritated sigh escaped her lips after a second.

"What _things_?"

No matter how much she wanted to get an answer, she couldn't help but to think it didn't look like he was going to give her an answer anytime soon, and it was not exactly for something he did, it was more for something didn't do. His eyes were off, unfocused, and didn't utter a word, and even when he was staring at the dwarves direction she just knew he was not _really _looking, for it seemed he was far away- A place she probably would never know. And that, for a second, made her a little bit jealous. So he surprised her when he looked down at her again, speaking softly- So much that if she didn't have the sensitive ears of a hobbit, she wouldn't have heard him, even when they were so close to each other.

"Sit, and listen if you wish"

And so she did.

And even if she didn't want to recognize it, quite willingly as well.

Bilbo sat between the wizard and Dwalin, who didn't seem that comfortable by sitting next to her and actually tried to inch a little to the other side; she tried not to feel insulted by that or upset by the fact that Thorin was sitting at the head of the table even though _she _was the master of that house, because truly, she wasn't. Maybe it was because of the way Gandalf acted just a few minutes ago, but know she was feeling inside her body the kind of anxiety that didn't allow you to speak much, one that she didn't quite knew why she felt when there was no need of it inside her own house- Bilbo found herself listening to every single word said at that table, following the wizards advice, trying to figure out what to_ make _out of the conversation.

There were lots of things that she couldn't quite understand from what they were saying , for it mentioned names she had never heard of, not even from her books- But then again, she had never actually read a book about dwarves, and now that she was sitting with thirteen of them you could say that she was regretting it. One thing she got right, it _was _an extremely serious matter, so much that Thorin had stopped glaring at her with the corner of his eye in order to properly speak and explain what he had in mind. The map placed on top of the table was indeed interesting and her curiosity was so that she could hardly take her eyes off it, sensing that she was probably looking ridiculous doing that, but it was not like she could help it; it _was _the first time she saw a map as strange as that one.

A big blank filled the inside of her mind before she slowly turned her eyes to Gandalf, who _suddenly _seemed to find his other side most interesting, since he didn't look at her even once. That was enough to make Bilbo narrow her eyes ,but it didn't take away the nauseating feeling at the bottom of her stomach, recalling over and over again the word that caught her attention with so much… intensity.

"…What beast?" Her words were soft, almost a whisper, but somehow shut the entire table until Gandalf finally decided to accept that she was talking to him, slowly setting his eyes on hers. But since he didn't open his mouth she wondered if he actually expected her no to ask again, but before she could open her mouth another voice spoke from the other side of the table.

"Well, that would be a reference to Smaug The terrible, chifiest and greatest calamity of our age" The dwarf that she thought was Bofur, since she didn't actually got proper introductions from most of them, was holding a pipe in his hand and the smoke around him didn't make his hat any less interesting, but nevertheless Bilbo forced herself to look at his face while he spoke with complete ease, like it was a day-a-day topic "Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely found of precious metals"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is just alright, thank you" She half groaned, kind of relived the attention was off her when Ori stood up, stating that he was no afraid. For some reason the few cheers after that sounded dull to her ears, or maybe it was because she was way too busy trying to breath to notice their spirits, or the way they awed at the thick looking key Gandalf took out of his sleeve but a moment after the silence actually started. Half of Bilbo's mind wanted to scream when curiosity started to grow within her, and the other half urged that other voice to shut up in order to give the key complete attention; at least she was not the only one looking at the piece of metal like it was the first key she had seen in her life.

"If there is a key" Se heard from somewhere at the other side of the table "Then there must be a door"

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls" Gandalf pointed to the map on the table, eyes fixed on said runes.

"There's another way in"

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done"

"That's why we need a burglar"

"And an excellent one too, I imagine" Mumbled the hobbit from her place, biting her lower lip deep in thought while looking at the map; fire breather giant beast was not even near her idea of an adventure, and quite frankly it had left a chill running down her spine just to think about it. When there was no more conversation around her she looked up slightly, almost jumping in her chair when she found all eyes on her, apparently waiting for something. Truly, it didn't take to be the most intelligent person in the room to know exactly why they were suddenly looking at _her _from all people; besides, Bilbo could _feel _the wizard moving kind of nervously on his sit, and she was quite certain that he was trying not to look at her on the way- She was quite certain he didn't dare to look at her in the eye, for she didn't even knew how to react at the situation "...Just exactly on what you got me into, wizard?"

Suddenly, everything made sense. And she was pretty sure Gandalf didn't told her sooner about that… detail in order to get her to her everything that had to be said- Not that it meant she was happy with that in the slightest.

"I'm hardly a burglar" She managed to say, still glaring at the wizard.

"And I'm afraid I have to agree with the lad. He's not burglar material"

"Aye" Dwalin at her side nodded at his brother's words "The wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves" The hobbit frowned a little at his words, feeling a little bit insulted by that while the others at the table started to speak between them.

"Now, I didn't say th-" But she was interrupted.

"Enough!" Gandalf stood from his place and Bilbo half wished for him to just shut up and sit down again "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins" She winced at the 'Mr. Baggins' for it remind her almost _too _much of her father; she needed to try to avoid being called that if she could "There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself"

"Does Bilbo even have a say in this?" Hissed the hobbit, but was pretty sure that no one had heard her, or at least that no one paid her any attention.

"You must trust me on this" Added the tall man, looking at the king. Bilbo noticed the frown on his face when he turned his head to look at her, and she was a little bit ashamed to admit she almost immediately straightened on her sit on order to not look as small as she really was; if she had just sat quietly and biting her pride back, maybe she wouldn't have looked like a suicidal hobbit.

"Very well" He said, even thought he didn't look happy with the decision _at all_. Bilbo was just starting to open her mouth when he looked at Balin "Give him the contract"

"It's just the usual summary about the pocket expenses, time required, remuneration,  
funeral arrangements, so forth" The old dwarf got to his feet, handing over some papers pressed together. Bilbo blinked a few times in a row, hopping to have heard wrong.

"Funeral agre…" She trailed while taking the contract in her hands after a moment of hesitation, opening just enough to see what seemed like endless lines of hand writing, listing detail after detail in a neat letter. Bilbo was quite tempted to laugh at it and then hand it back like any other sane hobbit would do in her place- Wait, any other _sane _hobbit would have close the door in Dwalin's face when he first appeared what to her was hours ago, so it didn't count. Instead, she read quietly the lines that caught her attention "'The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...lacerations. Evisceration'…. Incineration?"

"Aye, he'll melt the meat off your bones in a blink"

_I won't do it_.

It was in the tip of her tongue- It had been there since Gandalf came by in the early afternoon, ready to say it again since it seemed that the wizard paid no attention to her previous words. Even if it hurt and would most probably disappoint her mother to no end, Bilbo had to admit that kind of reaction had become a habit of some sort; she had become extremely good at pushing away anything that could mean a big change in her hobbit-like life, always procuring to keep an completely lady like attitude and way of thinking. To make it short, she had become extremely good at pushing away things like that one- The contract in her hand, the mysterious key presented by a wizard, and the company of dwarves sitting at her kitchen.

She just had to say it.

She just had to hand over the contract without even give it a glance.

She just had to politely offer them to stay at her house for the night, as the only thing she could possibly do for them.

But, strange enough, the words didn't get out of her mouth automatically. Nor did she shook her head at them, or walk away without saying a word. Instead, she looked at the kitchen again, surprising herself when she found that the seriousness and gravity of the situation and the atmosphere made it hard to try to remember the happy cheers that had taken place at that same room no more than ten minutes ago. She tried to place in Kili's face the same childish hint that she had seen before, but found it impossible. She tried to recall the happy, yet annoying, tone that who she learned was named Bofur had used when putting her plates in a pile, but failed at it.

She tried to feel indifferent, but she couldn't.

"I need to think about this"

* * *

She didn't sit on the armchair near the fire like she would usually do- She knew that if she did so, Gandalf would soon be at her side, trying to talk her to accept the quest and sign the contract. Bilbo didn't knew the wizard for long, or at least she couldn't remember him from her childhood, but that didn't mean she was about to let him see how _useless _she truly was, so she set for her room and her bed. The hobbit didn't knew why he even _proposed _her for something like that, heavens knew that, therefore she couldn't start to think what good would her presence would bring to the company now probably standing on her living room- Sure, she was perfectly capable of going unnoticed if she wished to, and she was quite proud of being able of sneaking at others hobbits, even when they were younger and sharper than her, but that didn't make her burglar material.

Not even her when she had been quite capable of taking one or two baskets full of berries from Lobelia's garden when she was still at her tweens.

She was a hobbit, _just _a hobbit, and that meant shy personality and desire of a warm home and a enjoyable garden or front porch, not of a journey where she would most probably sleep on the cold and hard forest ground, and wouldn't have the opportunity of not even five meals a day. It didn't meant she had what someone needed to survive the elements, or to fight the dangers of the world outside the borders of The Shire- Heavens _knew _she was probably never going to get her hands on a bow ever again. And, oh god, she would be _damned _if she gave Thorin more reasons to mock her for the rest of the journey; she was no fool, therefore she knew it was a place really far away from home, or so her mother's maps told her.

'_This is madness_' She shook her head, a hand pressed to her forehead as she had taken as a calming habit, just that at that moment it didn't work as it usually did. Bilbo groaned and looked at the contract in her hand, the empty space where her signature was destined to go hunting her conscious until she had no other option but to take her eyes off it and settle them on the wall '_How can I even think about the possibly of accepting? It's almost too ridiculous! Who ever heard of a hobbit going out in adventures?_' There was a moment of silence inside her own head before her eyes almost completely landed on the painting hanging on the wall, guilt squeezing her eyes with the sight of her mother's face, almost like she was actually staring back at her. She tried to look away, heavens knows she tried, but for some reason she just couldn't "I'm not like you" And even if it was just a whisper, she was pretty sure it was enough to show that she believed it to be true.

She decided it, and it was better to tell them before it was too late and she regretted it more than she allowed herself to know. But then, it would not really be a surprise to them, surely none of them thought from the beginning a hobbit like her was going to accept something like that- Yes, it was better that way.

Opening the door was probably her second biggest mistake on that day, the first one not running away when Gandalf first stopped in front of her that afternoon.

A song slowly made its way inside her room, feeling the air with a melancholic feeling that even if she wanted she couldn't shake off- Music in The Shire was meant to be danced, meant to be sang in gatherings and to be remembered with a smile on the face, not at all like…. Like _that. _Don't get her wrong, she was not saying it was not beautiful because it most certainly was, but it was the kind of beauty that she was not quite ready to face. And she still found herself walking down the corridor next to her door and slowly to the living room, standing just besides the open door from where the light of the fire could be seen.

Low and strong voices, a sound that probably could penetrate even the darkest soul, or at least in her opinion.

It was like a memory.

A sad one.

Yes… it was just like that.

'_…It probably _is'

Bilbo sighed.

She was probably going to hate herself for the rest of her life- _If _she lasted that long.

"I'm pretty sure you think I'm nowhere near being able of surviving out in the wild" As she expected, a glare was on his face as she spoke to him from her place at the door, probably because he hadn't noticed her before she spoke, but it didn't matter as much now; she was sure that she had seen before in that same face while he was looking at the fire what she recognized as sadness, the kind of sadness that settled itself on her face when her father passed away. That was the kind of sadness she could sympathize with, even if she thought him to be an absolute supercilious "So, shall we test it?"

_His face was completely priceless. _

"Do you have something for me to write with, master Balin?"

There was a moment of complete silence when, surprised by her question, the dwarf slowly gave her what she asked for. But Thorin's expression while looking at her using the wall as support was absolutely priceless, his mouth a little bit more open than necessary.

"What?"

He looked at the contract she was handing him as if he suspected it to start moving at any moment, and truly, if she were in his situation she would act the same way, but that didn't take away the amusement of the moment, not even when his mouth turned into a scowl when his eyes caught her signature, and certainly not when his eyes so very slowly went from the paper in her hand to her eyes, eye contact apparently being his last resource in the mission of scaring her off. So she was lucky when it did nothing but to amuse her even more.

"It's going to be a pleasure to travel with you" A small, innocent looking smile crossed her lips- Or at least it was innocent looking in Bilbo's mind, because everything the soon to be king could see in that face while his eye twitched a little, was something that he couldn't help but to think and take as challenging, even if he would never ever admit it aloud "_Master_ Oakenshield"


	4. Little voice

A/N: My first language is not English.

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! I'm happy you liked it. If you have a request or something, don't doubt on telling me!

_This letter: thoughts between other things. _

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit.

* * *

There was, in basic and much simpler terms than the ones Gandalf used to explain it when he just randomly decided to, a voice inside most people's head.

Apparently, it was meant to point out the stupid things that would stand in your way through life, trying to avoid them and keep their owners alive most of the time. It was meant to be there when making difficult and life changing decisions so you wouldn't end up regretting it _too _much in the future, something like a guardian standing always at your side and glaring at you over your shoulder with the mission of saving your lower back, mostly from yourself. It was a quite useful thing, mind you, quite helpful and lasting; they may or may not be the wisest, but they meant nothing but good to their host- You could see it as a way of preserving themselves as well, so it was just normal for it to be so life saver some times.

Bilbo Baggins most certainly didn't have one of those.

And it was almost clear that Gandalf had decided to explain that small fact aloud for her to realize it on her own.

Sure, she had a voice inside her head just all right, but since it sounded worryingly similar to her Tookish side of her family tree it was kind of dangerous to follow it most of the time- Is our duty to point out that was the voice whispering into her ear when she was signing the contract… not that she would ever admit it aloud to the company of dwarves and a wizard she was travelling with. Bilbo noticed that most of the time it didn't speak or tried to avoid any actions from her part, letting her be, so she didn't have the habit of relying on it for anything- She was convinced it would bring nothing good to her.

So it was pretty ridiculous she didn't realize the kind of position she was in until it was too late and they passed Bree just a day after getting there- Inside the leader's mind it was probable that the only reason they even stopped was because they needed to get supplies. But if it weren't for that Bilbo was quite sure she would have never seen a bed ever again, or a room for that matter.

When Gandalf told her that it would be a most wonderful idea to keep hiding the fact that she was a woman, since she probably wouldn't be allowed to go in the first place if they found the truth, she should have had to, even if it was just for a second, think of it as an absolutely bad sign. She had thought that since they already thought of her as a almost utterly useless male she should very well keep it that way- After all, she didn't need more glares from the oh so mighty leader than she already had- so maybe and just maybe she just needed to let the situation be. At that moment she had to suspect something was wrong when the little voice cheered inside her own head.

'_They…came out alive_' Bilbo laid on her side, actually pretty close to staring wide eyed as the flies made their way out of Gloin's mouth quite quickly, like it was part of their nature to do so. She waited for the dwarf to move or to make some sign that he had felt them inside his body, but there was nothing but more snores, maybe even louder than the previous ones. The hobbit narrowed her eyes to see in the dark, blinking several times as they went inside one more time '_...Interesting_' After what most probably was a minute of two of just staring at nothing in particular, the hobbit decided that even when she was positively tired sleep was not going to get to her soon enough, rising first to a sitting position and then standing on her feet, stretching her arms to the sky.

The hobbit stopped, wincing a little as her legs were a great reminder of how sore she was.

Apparently, all the running through the woods as a child didn't help much when it came to an actually 'adventure', if you could call ridding all day and barely stopping for eating an adventure- She knew she shouldn't be complaining since they were walking almost straight to what she had come to think as a giant lizard, so it was most likely she was going to miss those days where the quest was nothing more than ridding besides Gandalf so to reassure herself that she was not as useless as she actually was. Sure enough, her part of the job was miles away from them, but doing basically nothing in the time in between was kind of… sad.

"Hello Myrtle, there's a good girl" Greeted the hobbit, petting her pony's nose a little bit, smiling slightly to herself. She had been given the freedom of naming her when the hobbit first saw the pony the day they set out, and in all truths Bilbo was secretly happy she was not the only female in the company, even when the other one was an animal. Peeking over her shoulder Bilbo took an apple out of her near back pack, cautious so no one would see what she was doing, turning around just when the animal started to eat "It's going to be our little secret, just don't tell anyone"

That was when the howling started.

_If _you could call that horrible sound a howl. It was like some kind of creature was going through an immense pain, but instead of feeling pity something inside the hobbit just froze with fear- She was suicidal enough to sign in an adventure that would sooner or later lead her to a fire breathing giant lizard, but that didn't mean her instinct didn't know what to be afraid of out in the wild.

Bilbo looked at the other side of the forest, trying in vain to see something in the dark with what little moonlight she could see, but, as expected, she saw absolutely nothing. . After a little while she took a deep, dissimulated breathe, turning around and sitting in front of the fire as slowly as possible, feeling as if her legs were going to stop working at any minute. Hobbits were not fit for ridding, and even if it was one of the things that had always intrigued her, it had been enough to satisfied her curiosity- Ori, who had been ridding close to her the past days, had said that it would last only a couple of days, providing that he was not found of riding either; he had blushed shortly after and walked to where his brothers were.

She sure hoped he was right and the pain would go away soon.

It didn't took long for her to feel the eyes on her frame, looking up and finding both Fili and Kili looking at her from the other side of the fire, the youngest one tilting his face to one side with a somehow confused look- Bilbo constantly tried her best to remind herself of the age standards of the two races, and that therefore he was not as young as he looked. After a second or two, the black haired dwarf opened his mouth.

"Aren't you scared?"

_'You have absolutely no idea_'

Bilbo was not about to say that aloud, mind you- She could feel Thorin's sudden glare at her back just alright, knowing that he had heard his nephew's question as well, and hell, he was probably even waiting for her answer as well. Since they rode out of the shire he had not paid her much mind, other words for saying that he was ignoring her most of the time, so the times when he _did _speak to her was to basically warn the hobbit they would not tolerate being slowed down by her ineptitude; obviously, he would recognize a chance of pointing out how unfitting she was for a quest like that even when he was not inside the conversation in the first place.

So she tried her best to not give him that kind of reasons at the same time she tried to be honest.

"I can't say I am not" The hobbit nodded slowly at him, hugging her knees against her chest in a intent of keeping the inside of her body warm, even when the fire was enough to accomplish that; maybe what she needed was to feel as cozy as she would have felt that same day at that same time sitting by the fire at her house. As far as it went, it was quite enough to keep her calm- Maybe she had just found her own way of dealing with camping nights and strange powerful and scaring howls.

"Then why don't you ask about it?" This time was Fili who raised an eyebrow at her words, or maybe at her actions "Don't think you know what was"

"Whatever is out there" She gestured to the forest around them and at the other side of the hill in general, feeling a freezing chill running down her spine as she did so- She tried her best to suppress the look of distress that would probably make its way to her face if she didn't concentrate on other things, like the fire in front of them or how sore her legs and back felt for riding for so long "I _do_ know it's dangerous, therefore I don't want to know a anything else" Bilbo shrugged a little "Maybe that way I'll be able to sleep tonight"

There was a moment of silence where the only thing that could actually be heard was the constant squeak of the fire. Bilbo thought of maybe going back to 'bed' then, but honestly she didn't feel sleep catching up with her just yet, so there was not really other option than to sit there- or at least that was what she thought until the two brother started to speak to her again… well, she was not completely sure about that either.

"Master Baggins most certainly does not want to see an orc up close, don't you think so?" Fili grinned at his brother, playing with a knife on his hand, probably not even worried that the sharp edge was basically against the skin of his palm. The hobbit, would have rolled her eyes, really, she would have done so if the howling had not started again, startling her a little bit more this time. Guess that was the encouraging they needed to keep with their conversation.

"You are right" Kili nodded, a poor imitation of a serious expression on his face "Horrible, putrid-smelling things" He snickered after a second, but tried to cover it with a cough. What he couldn't cover in time was the amused smile that made its way to his face, like he just thought of something extremely funny "But it would be good if we actually face them, isn't it right, Fili? I mean, if we kill them on the stop, it would be less to worry about in our journey"

_Extremely funny indeed. _

Her breathe caught on her throat, suddenly thinking of the possibility of actually facing orcs- She would have been a fool if she hadn't thought of it since the beginning, but now that it was more likely to happen, it was even more difficult for her to deal with what she didn't knew, for she had never seen one of those horrid creatures before. She could tell they were just teasing her, but for them it was just amusing even though it _was _as real as she feared, with the difference that they had actually fought the creatures she was afraid of.

"Do you think of this as funny?"

She actually wanted to forget that he existed.

Well, not to that point, that was unfair to say and it was as cruel and mean as all the things he had said to her, and maybe sometimes he deserved it, but that was not one of those times… yet. So Bilbo lifted her eyes from the floor until they found the dark figure of Thorin standing at the edge of the light of the fire, a scold on his face, and a heavy look on his eyes; for what seemed the first time since the journey begun that look as not sent in her direction, buy instead was placed on top of the two brothers, who suddenly forgot how to smile. In fact the hobbit was pretty sure for a second they had forgotten how to breathe, for they were awfully still.

"You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" He continued, and she was pretty sure she saw Kili's lips shaking a little, like she was choking with words instead of anything else since Fili was not likely to say something at that, for he was even more still than him.

"W-We…" He took a deep breath, not daring to close his eyes" "We are sorry…We meant nothing by it"

"No, you didn't" If he had shook his head along with those words, or had said them in a slightly less hard tone, it would have been millions of times better, but since he didn't even seem to blink in order to change his expression the situation kept being almost suffocating. Bilbo could have sworn to notice his eyes going far away for a second, but it was too short to actually count it as possible. And if it was even more possible, his nephews looked even worse "You know nothing of the world"

The words were out of her mouth before she could help it.

"They already said they were sorry" Her voice seemed nothing but a whisper to her own ears, but even she knew it was louder than that. It was enough to caught the brothers attentions, for the two of the stared at her from the other side of the fire with lips tightly pressed into a line, resembling the statues that some of her mother's book described. Maybe it was because the pain of her legs dulled the rest of her body that she was not really controlling what rolled out of her tongue, and _hopefully_, it would be nothing more than the truth "Isn't that enough?"

She should have wondered why the voice inside her head cheered.

Bilbo almost wished the howling to start again, so the silence wouldn't be as awkward as it was. And she could swear even the snores had lower themselves on propose. She could certainly feel Gandalf's eyes on her frame from where he sat at the edge of the forest, and she looked at his direction briefly before looking at the oh-so-called-king again, finding to her utter horror that he was now looking in his direction.

Way to keep his attention of her.

"They are not kids anymore, they need to learn how to stop acting and talking like one, Master Baggins" His voice was not low, but he didn't need to scream for his words to have that strong and impressively doubtless impact that he was having right now- Bilbo could feel the knot in her stomach growing by the second, making her nauseous, thing that she did not like one bit. But by some unexplainable reason she just broke the eye contact but a second before almost automatically staring at him again, lips firmly closed into a thin line; Thorin's eyes were dead serious and heavy, but she had not seen a day when he didn't look at her like that, so now she was quite thankful for all that 'training' because she didn't felt looking away again was going to do any good "If a sorry could solve everything then wars wouldn't be necessary. This is not a game, even if you think of it as one"

"This is no game indeed, Master Oakenshield, this is far more important to you than that, and to them as well, they wouldn't be here if they did take it as game"

He was going to snap at her, of that she was sure.

There was fire behind those eyes, probably as fierce as the fire he had witnessed years before from the creature they were on their way to kill; there, behind that snarl, surely were hundreds of things he wanted to say in her face at that moment, each of them as cruel as the other. Probably even more. She was preparing herself the same way she prepared her ears when Lobelia Sackville Baggins's tantrum were sure to some to her door; Bilbo took a deep breath, sending her shoulders back slightly, maintain her chin at the same level so not to look like she was going to actually challenging him.

It was almost like dealing with a wild animal.

But the bite- or the words, in this situation, did not come.

Nothing came out of his mouth, actually.

But what surely surprised her the most was the fact that he actually gave her his back, walking away from the fire, leaving Bilbo with whatever doubt her mind probably came up with at that moment. Her posture slowly came back to normality, and the breath she didn't realize she had been holding came out so slowly she didn't realize she had let it out until her lungs and her brain remind her the need of breathing.

Balin was the only one who dared to break the silence, and thankfully it was not long after the leader walked away, probably trying to lift the tension from their shoulders. She thought that it was almost pointless, but she appreciated the sentiment, even more because she needed the time to slow the strong beats of her heart.

"Don't mind him, laddie" He did shook his head, and she was pretty sure she was the only one looking at his face now. She didn't need to look at them to know the brothers were most likely looking at the fire, trying to calm down. Truthfully, she didn't blame them "Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs"

At some point of his story, she did feel guilty for what she had said to him, but didn't say a word about it. She actually didn't speak after it, perceiving the atmosphere was slowly going back to normality- At least she could breath down, and her ears were no more dull; she could hear the life inside the forest, the squeaking of the fire, and her own heart beat, this time a little bit more slower. Bilbo certainly didn't dare to look at Thorin again, fearing that she wouldn't be able of holding her own against him again, knowing that to face him once was even more stupid than the fact she was hiding her own gender.

There was one thing she was quite sure about, even when the fire near her small body was warm enough for most of the company to relax a little bit.

She was not going to get any sleep that night.

The voice inside her head, for once, agreed.

* * *

"Do hobbits like rain?"

To be completely honest with you, she almost fell from the saddle when she almost thought the voice came out of nowhere- Not that she was about to admit that aloud. But in her defense, she had been too busy trying not to _breathe _water from the poring sky, so her reaction was not completely unjustified, or so Bilbo wanted to think.

Truly, she should have expected the bombarding of questions sooner or later, and it was surprising it took so long giving that it _was _the first time all of them met a Hobbit, with the obvious exception of Gandalf. And now that she thought about it, glazing at the wizard's back, the hobbit wondered if by some reason out of her understanding he knew that was going to happen that day and at that moment- He _had _looked pretty amusing when he suddenly decided to go from her side to Thorin's side, probably knowing that Bilbo would go nowhere near the leader voluntarily.

So when she turned around, blinking the raindrops off her eyes even if didn't make that of a big difference since they were replaced by new ones immediately, finding Kili ridding by her side with a sheepish look on his face and, surprisingly enough, with Fili nowhere near him but at the head of the party with his uncle, to say that she was both confused and surprised was an understatement; since that morning the younger brother had been acting quite strange, meaning that when Bilbo turned her head around when feeling someone staring at her in a different way the leader usually used to, and found that it was, in fact, Kili, the dwarf looked away immediately. She had not given it much mind since it didn't happen more than once or twice, but it was strange enough to remember.

Now, she was not sure about what to think of it.

But she answered anyway.

"Well… We don't like it more than you do… I guess" She shrugged, holding tightly the saddle, knowing that even if she wanted to with the weather they were facing it wouldn't be possible to go by foot- She didn't completely face him though, not really knowing what to do and thinking how strange of a moment was that one to start a conversation that, in her opinion, was as random as it was going to get. But at the same time Bilbo couldn't help but think that it was indeed the only thing she was going to get to do that day.

"We don't precisely mind it"

She looked at Bofur just in front of her; the dwarf was looking at his pipe, trying to actually get it to burn. She grimaced a little at that, thinking of how…normal that kind of things seemed to the rest of the people around her. Even Gandalf, who for the first time in days parted from her side to be somewhere else inside the line of pony's, being quite easy to see him thanks to both the horse he was riding and his natural height.

"Yes, I have noticed that"

Truly, she wasn't exactly even close to be found of it.

Rain was cold and wet.

Rain was sad and nostalgic, which for her was in fact kind of the same thing.

And at that moment? As annoying as Lobelia Sackville Baggins.

She was soaking wet, which was kind of unconformable at the moment of moving around, even if it was just for turning her upper body so to look at him in the face; her dripping hair didn't help either, so every little time she tried to clear her vision by wiping some of the water off her eyes and forehead with one of her hands. It was obvious to say that it didn't work as much as she needed it, which was kind of frustrating and tiring after a while. At that moment it just happened to pass through her mind that, clearly, she was not prepared for that journey in what clothes mattered- Not that she was prepared in other things, mind you.

Looking at the sky, or more like what little she could see because of the rain and the trees over their heads that were not really helping at keeping them covered, Bilbo thought that it was going to be a really long time until they were to see run again. Hopefully it wouldn't be _that _long. And hopefully as well, she would be able of keeping being that optimistic for most part of the journey… as she said before, hopefully.

You could say that she was so concentrated looking up that she didn't noticed until the last moment that it was not that cold on top of her head anymore and that some part of her body was not, even if it was for a little bit and not doing that much of a difference, directly in contact with the rain. In a vain try to know what was half covering her head she lifted her head, realizing that was not going to help so looking down at her side for a moment, discovering that a cloak was on top of her shoulders and with the hood up. She was aware that it was poorly placed on her person, but it was a fairly good job considering that the owner of said clothing was riding a pony next to her.

Looking up, she couldn't help but wonder why Kili looked so concentrated while trying to see if he could put the cloak that was previously on his own shoulders in a better position on top of hers.

"...Isn't this yours?" After the words left her mouth she kind of wanted to smack her head into a tree or some rock; of course it was his, but it had taken her by surprise to receive it. He didn't seem to find the question strange thought, for, thankfully, he didn't laugh at her nor did he look at her in a mocking way, like the night before.

"You just seem to need it more than I do" He shrugged while lifting one of his hands at his face, clearly trying to keep the water off his eyes. It was kind of amusing, actually, how carefree he seemed to be- It almost reminded her of how she was when Bilbo 'The great' still ran through the woods. The hobbit shook her head, bringing the hood and the fabric down after a second, trying to convince herself she was not going to fall from the saddle if she did that- Maybe, and just maybe, she had not grasped that possibility just yet, but for the sake of the situation she was willing to give it a try. And as far as it was, she was not moving much, so maybe it was a good sign.

"You still need it"

"Not really"

It was official that Bilbo didn't understand the situation.

But then she saw it. The small shrug of his shoulders was more like the way a kid acted while being scolded, the twitch on his mouth was nervous, tense, and she could tell he was not about making eye contact with her- Those were signs that she knew very well thanks to her youngest cousins after a scolding, when guilt started to fill their little chests until they were practically begging to be forgiven.

He was trying to say sorry, probably for the night before.

….You couldn't say she was surprised at how dwarves chose gestures over words in that kind of matters.

"Then, I appreciate it" She smiled, but while taking the whole piece of clothing of her shoulders and placing it in front of her legs on the saddle, making sure with a hand on it that it wouldn't slip to the floor with Myrtle's movements "But this is hardly fair" He opened his mouth again.

"But-"

"Thank you, though. It was...really nice of you"

It was the first time someone from the company actually approached her- Like Thorin, no one has really paid her much mind, and since she had something lady like really deep inside her, having manners was maybe what she needed right now. Giving him a nervous smile, Bilbo waited for the young dwarf to react, and since at first he just stared at her she really thought he was not going to do much. After a second, though, he smiled back.

"You are welcome, master Boggins"

"Baggins, master Dwarf, _Baggins_"

Bilbo was pretty sure she felt a glare on her from the front of the company when Kili laughed cheerfully, probably from a blue eyed dwarf with an awful personality. So, for the first time since it started, she was thankful the rain was almost too thick.

The voice inside her head laughed along with Kili.


	5. Mighty weapon

A/N: My first language is not English.

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! I'm happy you liked it. If you have a request or something, don't doubt on telling me!

_This letter: thoughts between other things. _

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit.

* * *

It was very much like a nightmare, but while being awake.

Don't misunderstand her, Bilbo wished she didn't know it was a nightmare, so at least the illusion that she was not in such a bad position wouldn't brother her for a little bit more, even if it was until there was no other option but to accept that it was, in fact, real.

Because, well, Bilbo already knew it beforehand; with the kind of arrogant and narcissistic personality Thorin had apparently since birth, he could get the worst out of most of people in the middle of a conversation no matter how civilized they tried to act (well, actually she kind of figured it out since she was didn't really know and she certainly was not about to ask somebody, taking the risk of the oh so called king glaring at her with even more hate than he already directed to her person), and she would not be surprised at all to hear in the future, _if_ they _happened_ to get rid of the dragon and live to tell the tale, that his kingdom had gone to war because of his stupid temperament and his mean mouth besides his incapacity of having empathy towards someone that was not his kin or from his own race even if it was a friend.

But that situation was just ridiculous.

"Gandalf, where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!"

For some reason she couldn't quite understand at the moment, Bilbo gulped.

"And who's that?"

"Myself, mister Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day!"

'_Then why are you leaving me behind!?_'

And that was indeed a extremely good question. At least in her opinion.

She stared open mouthed as the wizard soon disappeared into the wild, leaving nothing but a group of nosy dwarves and a really shaken Bilbo behind- It is our obligation to point that at that particular moment the hobbit's brain was quite busy trying to decide between crying our screaming and pulling out her hair from her head, but since none of them seemed to be fit for the situation she was left to stand there, gaping at the same stop time after time, not quite sure of what to do now- Maybe the only thing with sense that she could come up with at that moment was to mechanically look at Thorin, not knowing exactly why she thought for a minute that he would say something about the matter. Anything at all.

So, as usual, he just found a way of not even look at her twice.

"Com one Bombur, we are hungry"

And with that, it was like nothing happened at all. The rest of the company started to move in different directions, both Fili and Kili talking between them about something apparently extremely funny as they laughed, walking past her. Bilbo stood there with her feet almost glued to the ground, now _really _not knowing what to do at the moment.

Or with her life, for that matter.

"Is he even going to come back?" She mumbled under her breath, and almost jumped out of her skin when an arm landed on her shoulders and a hand settled herself on her right shoulder. When Bilbo looked to her left side found Bofur grinned down at her, and somehow she managed not to groan at the cheerfulness in that smile.

"Don't worry lad, he's going to be okay" The dwarf laughed, as merry as she knew he always was. The hobbit glared once more in the direction the wizard walked away "I dare to say than he has even more possibilities of staying unharmed by the end of the night than us" If she had not turned her head at that moment she hobbit wouldn't have noticed how he suddenly frowned, his mouth pressed into a thin line, and Bilbo looked up at him without understanding the reason for it; Bofur focused on the hand he had on her shoulder, patting the same place a couple more times before tilting his face to one side, like he was now a little bit amused by something, shaking his head in the progress- That just confused her even more. After a second he looked down, meeting Bilbo's eyes "You should eat more, even your shoulders are rather thin"

Bilbo actually felt her heart stopping, and when it started to beat again it was in a slow and painful motion, maybe after five seconds or so. Her eyes were wide with the surprise, and she should have been thankful that he was looking at her shoulder again for it would have been suspicious, even more than the fact that her body _was _thinner than male's hobbits in much more places than just that. The trousers were the only thing that probably fit her properly, so the shirts and the coat were a deal bigger than her original size, baggy enough to hide her frame in a way they didn't notice it was even smaller than what they thought; even if she didn't like it, she needed to take advantage of their ignorance towards her race.

Besides, it would be more than awkward to explain the situation if they happen to find out.

….Yes, that certainly would not be nice.

Coming back to reality Bilbo noted the dwarf looking at her with a raised eyebrow, and she realized she had been far too quiet for it not to be suspicious, and she almost literally chocked with her own words. At least she could manage to nod her head once.

"Y-Yes, I-I…. I will" She cleared her throat, hoping it wouldn't be much too feminine, but how you try to hide that kind of things? Bilbo truly didn't know how utterly wrong her voice sounded, it not being even close to a male's one. But Bofur seemed to buy it just fine, patting her head reassuringly once more before walking to the other side of the camp, where his brothers was already putting things into place in order to make dinner- Since she didn't have siblings herself but lots of cousins instead, Bilbo couldn't quite imagine how it was to love someone the same way you would love your own parents. It was, by far, a feeling that she had already forgotten.

"It seems you are the only one I have left, Myrtle" Mumbled the hobbit to the pony, petting her nose; Myrtle was bigger than the dog Bilbo had pictured before starting the journey, but it would do for the time being.

It was not long until something else startled her.

"Master Baggins"

To be completely honest about you, she was more than a little bit uncomfortable with being called like that. 'Master Baggins' was, in her mind without even a single doubt, what her father was to be called, not her; Bilbo restrained herself from saying anything about the matter because she knew it would seem strange to ask not to be called like that, for she didn't have any real friendship with any of them and the first name basis were not really an comfortable option at that moment. So she stared quiet about it, preferring to avoid having to explain something as 'random' as that. And that moment, just like the others, Bilbo took a deep breath and turned around, surprise rising inside her chest when she came to face Bombur.

Now that was interesting.

But if she really thought about it, that he was actually talking to her was not really _that_ strange; his cousin had walked away from where she was standing just mere seconds ago, and if they were any similar because of their blood relation then he wouldn't need much effort on trying to be as friendly as Bofur, even when Bilbo had the feeling no one would be more friendly than said dwarf. Maybe the only exception would be Kili, who had been dragged by his brother while Fili said something close to "Is not proper to monopolize the hobbit, little brother" and she wasn't sure how they stopped wrestling on the ground after that.

Oh, right, Thorin had a said on that, why it didn't surprise her?

"Are you okay, Master Baggins?" What got her out of her own mind was Bombur's voice, and as she blinked Bilbo realizes she had dozen off at some point. The hobbit almost sighed at how stupid she probably looked at that moment, but instead of an amused look or a teasing expression there was a little bit of concern on his face. Blinking, Bilbo tilted her head to one side as slightly as possible.

"Oh, I am, sorry for that" She shook her head a little, feeling heat going up to her cheeks, most probably tainting the point of her ears pink "Is there something you wanted to tell me, Mister Bombur?" He seemed convinced with her words, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Gandalf had told us a few things about hobbits before, and between those small details he commented how much your race is found of good food" Bilbo, now truly surprised by what she was hearing and by the genuine expression the dwarf was using at that moment, nodded at his words after a few short seconds, what the dwarf took as a sign to continue- For the first time in the past weeks she wondered just _what _Gandalf had been telling the dwarves about hobbits; she suspected that nothing that could particularly get their attention "So I was wondering if you would like to help me with tonight's meal; is not a though chore, but it certainly would be easier and probably tastier if two work on it instead of one"

It took the hobbit a moment to process what he had just said, and her eyes went wide after that. She had definitely not expected something like that; it didn't need take to be a genius to notice how she stood out of the company, mostly because she didn't know what to do with her own time when they were left to just set for the night or for lunch, so to hear something like that was beyond pleasant. And maybe it was childish of her to say that it was lovely to give someone a wide smile after so long time.

"I would love to, Mister Bombur"

To actually do something while the others set up camp was completely different to just standing there, awkwardly glazing at everyone else's jobs, and the fact that she had spent that time cooking was just great. She had not had the chance to cook since the night the company of dwarves and the wizard appeared on her doorstep, completely moving her ground, and it felt nice to be able to let go like that after what to her seemed a really long time- And to do it besides someone as skilled as Bombur was just as nice. Despite his big frame the dwarf was quick with his moves when it came down to cut whatever there was in need to be cut, and careful when he discussed with her the best way of mixing the ingredients. He proved to be more than an excellent cooking companion, even more than any hobbit she had spent her time with.

And to say that it was nice as well to speak to someone that was not Gandalf, was kind of obvious.

Night came quickly, or maybe it was because she had been too busy arguing with Bombur regarding the species they were to use for the stew, and by the time she looked up from the finished food stars could be seen over her head. For the first time since she left The Shire Bilbo smiled a little, not because of something specific but just for the sake of doing so; She could remember his father telling her to smile whenever she could, for it would bring grand and wonderful things to her life and to the people around her. It didn't matter if it was a childish thing to think about, but it calmed her to the point of making the weight she didn't know she had on her shoulders be lifted by some invisible force.

She could only sigh close to contently.

But there was something still bugging at her.

"He's been a long time" She mumbled under her breathe, gazing at the dark horizon even if it was so dark she could not see the forest anymore. Turning around, she walked towards the fire and consequently towards the Bombur and Bofur, who where serving the food in the wooden bowls Bombur had kept on one of his packs.

"Who?" Bofur didn't look up from his shore.

"Gandalf"

"He's a wizard! He does as he chooses" He chuckled after a moment, leaving the wooden spoon and turning to her "Here, take this to the lads" Bofur extend her two bowls full of the stew.

"Master Baggins worked hard on this as well, you should be the one doing it" Scolded Bombur from behind, serving himself a portion of the food. Bofur opened his mouth, apparently considering his cousin's words, but she was quick to interrupt whatever was going to leave it.

"Is no problem at all" She smiled a little, pleased that she was finally able to do something even if it was little.

Bilbo quickly made her way walking away from the fire and towards where the two brothers were to be looking after the ponies, being thankful for her sight since it would have been a little bit difficult with the thick darkness around the camp. She shivered a little, feeling the cold of the night trying to get inside her body since she was not near a fire anymore, but the hobbit kept walking anyway, trying to ignore the small shivers going down her shoulders. Finally she found Fili and Kili with her eyes, the two of them standing side by side and giving her their back- Walking between them, she smiled again.

"Here, enjoy" She stretched her hands to her, but they did not make a move to take them, or to look at her for that matter. Frowning in confusion Bilbo looked at the two of them a couple of times before opening her mouth, finding the situation quite odd- Normally, the two brothers would jump at the mere thought of food, but now it was they didn't even knew it was there "What's the matter?"

"We are supposed to be looking after the ponies" Mumbled Kili, almost like he was not even talking to her but to himself, his eyes not moving from what he was looking.

"Only we've encountered a slight… problem" Fili grimaced at his own words, and if she didn't know better she would have said he had winced at the mere thought of it "We had sixteen, and now there's… fourteen" Bilbo had wanted not to turn and see whatever they were staring at, but since lately her Tookish side had got the worst out of her that time was obviously not an exception the hobbit soon found herself looking at roots dangerously sticking out of the ground, and it took her a second to realize they had been, in fact, ripper out of the ground along with everything of the tree including branches and leaves.

"A slight problem…" She stared at the fallen tree, feeling a knot growing inside her stomach, gripping the bowls in her hands even tighter- There was something obviously bad about it, therefore it made the situation both worrying and something for her to be scared about, but in her defense she had to say it was just because it certainly was the first time she saw something like that; truth to be told, Bilbo didn't want to admit it gained her curiosity like most things did when she was younger. Clearing her voice and her head at the same time, shaking it until stupid thoughts were out of it, she blinked back whatever nonsense she was about to say and stared at the tree again"…A slight and possibly quite dangerous problem "

"Daisy and Bongo are missing" Informed the youngest dwarf, walking to where a couple of the rest of the ponies were standing. For a moment Bilbo stood in her place, almost frozen, trying to process the rest of the information before moving forwards, not really sure what she was doing or what she was approaching, just feeling the need of movement.

"As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it" Commented the blond brother, walking besides the tree with Bilbo at his heels- She almost snorted at his words, and if she had not been as confused as she was now she most probably would have done just that.

"I don't think I'm going to figure out much more than what you have already. Whatever did this" She motioned towards the tree by her side with the hand that still held one of the bowls "Is big and dangerous"

"Our thoughts exactly" Sighed the dwarf.

"There's a light!" Alerted Kili, his body low before darting to the trees not far from where they were, Fili fast on his heels. Signing deeply and feeling like the first time she opened her door for them, Bilbo stumbled her way to the two brothers with her heart pounding loudly on her ears, but before she could make it a far as them a loud crash was heard through the woods, literally making her jump to where the two brothers were now standing, equally serious expressions on both their faces. Breathing almost too loudly the hobbit wondered just how they managed to hold their ground a situation as random as that one.

"What was that!?" She mumbled, not sure where to look to know the answer to her question. There was a light deeper in the woods, and the sound of something like voices coming from there- They were more like dark and really deep laughs, not even close to anything she had heard before, and with the dwarves she had come to have the opportunity of quite a lot of new and a little bit traumatic things.

"Trolls" Grunted Kili, and moving once more, he ran forwards besides his brothers.

'_Then why are you going towards them!?_'

She found herself following them nevertheless, but just after a moment of hesitation.

And this time she had a perfect opportunity of looking at what had made such a strong noise; Looking at the giant green thing moving towards the fire while she looked for a place to hide, Bilbo thought that maybe it would have been a good idea to get help from the others, but the camp was already too far and the situation itself was getting worse by the minute- Never she thought she would be standing this close to something taller than her, even more than man. Peking over the rock she was using for hiding, the hobbit got a glimpse of the two other ponies tucked under his -_it's_- arms, and curiously enough one of them was sandy colored, very similar to…

_Oh._

"They got Myrtle!" She mumbled, a horrified expression crossing her face while she stumbled to where the two brothers were standing. Oh goodness, no!

"They are slow, I think we should act before they actually start to eat them" Fili mumbled by her side, narrowing his eyes, probably to see better in the dark even though they were pretty close to the fire- Maybe it was not close enough.

"And I think while they plan how to do just that, we need to warn your uncle"

"There's no need of worrying him" The youngest one dismissed with a wave of his hand without looking at her, a light hint of nervousness in his voice and body language even when there definitely was concentration, but Bilbo thought that Kili had just meant something more similar to 'there's no need of making him angry with us again', and for that she couldn't actually blame either of them. Looking at Fili, she noticed he was nervous as well, and that for some reason made her conscious of her own nervousness tickling inside her stomach and head, making the hobbit a little bit dizzy.

"Then we should really do something…" And maybe it was because she was too busy trying to not throw up that she didn't notice until the last minute the look Kili was sending her from his position until she looked down at him, raising a small in confusion. Something extremely deep inside her whispered that maybe it was not that late for getting help from the others.

"Yes, you should!" He stood from his place, a hand on her back in a gesture that she supposed was meant to be reassuring, and she was pretty sure his quick speech was to shut the words that were already on her mouth. Bilbo tried with all her might to refuse the absurd idea of a hobbit like her getting near Trolls, but apparently making her face a dragon was not enough for the two brothers were already grinning at both her sides, not giving her a chance to speak "It's perfectly safe! I already told you, they are really slow. Besides, they are really stupid as well! And you are so small they'll _never_ see you!" As if that was going to shadow anytime soon the fact they were the size of trees "We'll be right behind you"

She really wanted to say that was not reassuring at all, since they were the ones that managed to lose _ponies _in the first place.

Said ponies' noises were getting louder and louder, most probably realizing they were in great danger and wanted to get out of there; Bilbo knew she wanted the same thing as well. But the difference was that she actually had a chance to do it, and they didn't, and if she thought about it she would never hear the end of it if Thorin knew she didn't even try to bring back the ponies in one piece- The Bilbo had the impression he didn't fancy walking and tiring the company more than she did.

Signing, Bilbo looked at the fire once more.

**_I'm sure it's going to be fun. _**

_Shut up. _

"Lately I've found myself doing lots of things I'll regret sooner or later" Bilbo basically spoke because she needed to find a way of shutting the little voice at the back of her head, practically cheering for what she was about to do- Some part of her, the side that had got the worst of her the night she decided to go out in that quest, reminded the hobbit that was not what she signed for, but since at the moment she couldn't remember what specifications were in that contract Bilbo would try her best to ignore it. Besides, she had the feeling the brothers were not going to let her get away from all that trouble even if she wanted to in the first place- They were already getting the bowls out of her hands "I guess one more wouldn't make a big difference"

Close to three minutes after that Bilbo realized it was a big difference.

An _extremel_y big one.

Three of them, actually.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today. And blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow"

"Quit your gripping. These ain't sheep! These is west nags!

"Oh, I don't like horse! I never have. Not enough fat on them"

_Lovely conversation. _

Standing in the shadows close to where the trolls keep the ponies, singing in relive when she saw the they were unharmed –that _Myrtle _was unharmed- Bilbo tried to calculate exactly how big at least one of them was in comparison to whatever o whoever she had met or seen in the past, so maybe she could have peace of mind knowing she died by the hand of something close to twenty times bigger than her. She had no doubt they were slow, for their conversation was not an extremely brilliant one, and you could kind of guess it for the clumsy way they moved around; she tried to calm herself by repeating inside her head that since they were that clumsy, if she had to run away she would have the opportunity of doing so, but when she noticed that they could easily lift her completely from the ground with the enormous hands, suddenly that little ray of hope wasn't as visible as before.

'_Not the moment of going back, Bilbo_' The hobbit gulped, pressing her hand against one of the trees, watching the troll's movements with her eyes. To say that the deep breathes she tried to take in order to calm her nerves did little on helping her calm her nerves would be an understanding; with each breathe, she felt an itching feeling inside her chest, like it was hot fire instead of the cold relive she needed at that moment. Maybe it was good, and that was just what she needed to hold her own while facing this situation- The Tookish voice inside her head, for once, agreed with her, and Bilbo could feel it was thrilled for not knowing what would happen next '_You already are too far from home to do so_'

In what she wanted to think as a determinate gesture, Bilbo started to walk towards the improvised pen at one of the sides, being careful on not doing much noise, even though she was sure no matter how much noise she did they were never going to hear it since their conversation was even louder. When she practically stepped onto the light, standing besides Myrtle as the horse stamped her feet on the ground, Bilbo almost sighed in relief when she saw the knot what kept them inside, immediately trying to lose it enough to break them free.

It was more difficult than what she had thought at first.

'_Come on, com one_' She urged, gritting her teeth in frustration and in nervousness, having the feeling she was going to be discovered at any minute. After a few more tries she gave up while her eye twitched in annoyance at her own uselessness, accepting the fact that she would need something sharp to cut the ropes with since she apparently didn't have strength enough to do it herself, even if it was small and not that sharp- Maybe she could snuck away again to get one of Fili's knives, since she clearly remembered he had lots of them.

She turned to go.

And froze in her place.

One of the trolls was looking at her direction.

The hobbit held her breathe, quietly sending a prayer to whoever was looking at her right now from above- Or maybe it was nearer by and somewhere at that moment someone was laughing his or her head off because of her misfortune, and just maybe that someone would somehow have pity of her and would get her poor self out of that situation. Maybe she was so busy praying that she didn't notice at first how they were not looking directly at her, even if she was just a few meters from them, but something behind her. It took Bilbo a second to hear what seemed worryingly similar to a war shout if she ever imagined one, coming just from behind her, and even before she could move from the shadows and into the light, a figure ran past her, sword in hand, and stood in front of the trolls.

A figure almost as small as she was.

Almost.

_Kili. _

* * *

"What am I going to do? Aule, what am I going to do?"

Every had happened too fast, so much that she didn't even get a chance to fully get what was going on when someone –She suspected Bofur, or Bombur, maybe even Fili- pushed her back so hard she was out of the small battle the dwarves had started a few moments ago. When Bilbo realized the Trolls were looking at Kili, and that said dwarf was wielding his sword, she had paled at the thought of the still small dwarf alone in front of those hideous creatures, but when the rest of the company came out of nowhere with battle cries her heart most certainly had stopped working. Somewhere between the moment she fell backwards to the ground, hitting her arm and the side of the head in the process, and getting up the ground as quickly as possible, Bilbo had caught Fili and Kili looking at her for a second, something unrecognizable on their eyes before they started to fight again.

Yes, Fili was the one that pushed her out of the way, out of that madness.

Now, pacing from one side to the other, she wondered how she was going to get them all out of the trouble they had gotten into since the Trolls were now preparing to cook them- No matter how strong Dwalin had being, or how much skill Thorin had with his axe, it had not been enough against tree giant creatures. Stopping in her tracks once more, she half glanced at what she would see of the from her place in between some rocks hidden by the darkness- A whimper escaped the hobbit's lips when she caught sight of most of the company being rolled over the fire.

And Gandalf was still nowhere to be seen.

"What am I going to do?" Whispering and looking at her company, at that moment, at that second, she didn't know what else to say or to do.

But that wouldn't do.

Because she needed to do something. _Anything. _Even if it was not much and maybe she would end with them over the fire, she needed to try something- She needed to be smart, like her mother had been, like her father had been, and like she was supposed to be as heir to their legacies; she needed to outsmart the Trolls, and that proved to not be that much of a difficult mission. Bilbo needed to think about something, and do it _fast. _Before the dwarves found themselves in that position the Trolls had tossed away all their weapons, the only smart move she had seen from their part, and now said weapons lay carelessly at her feet, but she knew she wouldn't be able of even holding one of them.

"There must be something" She mumbled, looking around, and down at the weapons again, moving them with her hands if necessary, her brows furrowed "There _must _be something"

And there, under all those axes and swords, was that something.

* * *

Thorin Oakenshield considered himself a responsible leader and dwarf, capable of protecting his company, his friends and his kin where and when they couldn't very well protect themselves, for any reason that might be. There was little he feared, and even more little of the things he thought unable to face; but as those were incredible useful aspects on his life, he knew he was as well short tempered when it came to certain things. Like he may or may not get angry with most of the things his nephews come with, Thorin hoped they knew deep inside his scolding were for the better- When they reclaimed their mountain both Fili and Kili were going to be formally presented as his heirs, the next ones on Durin's line, with the oldest meant to the throne at some point of his life. Thorin was proud of them.

But that had to be the most stupid thing they had ever done since the one time they tried to cut off a lady's braids back in the Blue Mountains just because they didn't like her. And that had been by far the most horrible thing they had come up with.

When Fili had first gotten to the camp, shouting that they needed to come and help because 'Kili is the most stupid and stubborn person he had ever met, and the stupid puppy crush he had on the hobbit was going to be the end of him', Thorin first instinct was to groan. Then to scowl. And then to blame the burglar- And at this, it our duty to point that he did not wished to speak of said creature, for it would need the use of quite big words- because he just knew that hobbit was going to get them on trouble; truth to be told, for the little he had heard from Fili, it had not been the burglar's fault and that he got, but it didn't stop him from scowling at the thought.

And then they found themselves not outnumbered but surpassed in strength, and not precisely because they had a lack of it. It was not the first time Thorin had faced that kind of creatures, but it was the first time he had seen three of them together so far away from where they should have been- Nevertheless, apparently they were bound to be tied and lying on the ground like luggage, while the other half of the company –his company- was being rolled over a fire. It was certainly not how he expected to spend that night, and he sure was trying to make a plan to get out of it as soon as possible.

"Don't bother cooking 'em! Let's just sit on 'em and squash 'em into jelly!"

Comments like that one were the ones that made his friends and kin yell at the top of their lungs, cursing and trying to free themselves from their tides- He had tried to do it as well, but even he had to admit they were way to tight to be easy. Looking around the 'camp' he noticed the only half-calm was Balin, who at the same time looked at him with worry; they had seen much, and therefore knew there were slights possibilities of getting out of there in one piece, but if they waited for more time it would be too late. They needed to do something.

And quick.

"They should be sauteed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage" Said the other one, turning at whatever was inside the giant bowl by the side of the fire, sneezing almost over it. Thorin's face contorted in disgust while he tried move his head enough to look behind him, trying to remember where their weapons had been tossed; if he could get to them, maybe with luck he could cut his ropes with the side of one of their axes.

"Oh, that does sound quite nice"

The third one grunted, looking from Kili to Thorin, and then to Bombur, probably thinking about taking him first.

"Never mind the seasoning, we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, let's get a move one! I don't fancy been turned to sto-"

He stopped mid sentence.

"What's that?" A frown crossed his face, or whatever that expression could have been called, and a hand was on his head after a second, surprising Thorin just a little bit as he turned from one side and the other, apparently looking for something even if he didn't know what it was. At last, his face landed on the troll just next to him, something like a narrowed glare on his face as he stumbled towards him, holding him by the ear "You hit' me?"

"What? No!" The troll yelled, sneezing over the others arm after a moment- It was kind of ironic the one holding him found that disgusting, since they _were _disgusting at mere sight. Thorin watched with narrowed eyes as one of them looked for what he thought was a made to be handkerchief at his back, dropping the fabric to the ground when something hit him in the side of the head; the soon to be king raised an eyebrow, being pretty sure that whatever had been thrown to the troll had been the size of his own fist "Oh!" Bringing a hand to the side of his head, the creature turned around in a vain try of getting a glimpse of what had hit him, finding his other companion standing just by his side, looking as confused as him with a hand on his head as well- Thorin figured that something had hit him as well while he was not looking "You hit me!"

"No, you hit me!"

Soon, there was a little disaster between them, and somewhere in that time not only they stumbled to the ground in a poor intent of fighting but a tall figure stood over a rock by their sides, hints of the sunrise poking over the sunrise. While raising a familiar looking staff in his hands, familiar sounding voice boomed to the camp, making Thorin sigh in short relive.

"The dawn will take you all!"

"Who's that?"

"No idea"

"Can be eat him too?"

Gandalf brought the staff down, braking the stone under his feet and stepping aside while sun showered them all- The company of dwarves observed with something close to fascination how, between yelps of what most of them thought was pain, the trolls slowly became more and more hard looking, until everything left of them was stone statues, perfectly still on their places. Sighs of relief and cheers quickly filled the space, making Thorin smile slightly, even though that same smile became a scowl when the wizard stepped down to the ground, a knowing smile on his face.

"Well, that worked quite well, if I may say" He looked at them, and Thorin had the feeling he wanted to laugh in their faces, and certainly he had kind of a right to do so even if it annoyed him. Suddenly, the wizard shook his head and looked at one of the sides of the 'camp', the smile still on his face "You can come out now, Master Baggins, I believe your plan worked quite well"

_What?_

After a short moment there was movement behind some rocks, and each one of them, or at least the ones that could actually move their heads, could perfectly see how to the burglar came out of his hiding spot with a relieved expression on his face, maybe even some awe when his eyes fell on the now stone trolls, a small and almost invisible smile appearing on his face before a short laugh left his lips, like he couldn't believe what he was looking at. In fact Thorin couldn't believe either what he was seeing or what he had just heard- The burglar was the one buying them time? All along in the shadows? He certainly didn't know what to think of that.

It took the rest of the company a second to realize the hobbit was holding Ori's slingshot in one hand.

And it took them another moment to burst out laughing.

* * *

She was going to _kill _him, or at least she vowed to do so when Gandalf turned to face her for the first time since he got there. She had been busy helping to untie the ones at the ground, carefully avoiding Thorin, grateful that Bombur was the one helping the leader of the company, so when she could finally stop moving and just stood there looking at the company, a small smile on her face, her anger had come back to her heart and mind in a surprisingly short time, especially when she had been so relived just seconds before.

Maybe it was because, like always, he was smiling, like nothing had happened at all.

Bilbo opened her mouth, more than glad to e disguised as a man, for it wouldn't be proper for a lady to say what she had in mind. It didn't matter she was going to sound pretty much like Thorin when he was mad at her, which was most of the time, and it certainly didn't matter if her parents would be mad at her from where they were. But as usual he had something else in mind; for example, making her life miserable.

"Now now my dear, what you have there on the tip of your tongue is certainly not something a mistress of Bag End should say aloud" The wizard held a hand up, and Bilbo was tempted to curse at him out loud just at that moment, but instead looked over her shoulder to make sure no one had heard him besides her. Glaring back at him, she tried really hard not to let the insulting words come out of her mouth when she opened it, knowing that it was not the best option in a moment like that, even if the wizard in front of her deserved each and every one of the things she had in mind to say.

"Most of the time, I try to remind myself that I know better than to hate you" Mumbled the hobbit, quite irritated by the fact that the wizard in front of her had that annoying amusing smile on his face, like he knew all along that was going to happen but did nothing in order to see it happening anyway "Or than to try to hurt you really bad"

"And you can be sure I'm thankful for your merciful and intelligent heart, my friend" He bowed his head, and she huffed a little, trying with all her might not to place her hands on her hips- It would have given her a scarier look, but it most certainly would take away any 'masculinity' in her appearance "For I don't want to suffer under the wrath of your mighty slingshot" Her eye twitched and her cheeks heated themselves.

Deep inside, Bilbo made a note to herself of giving the 'weapon' back to Ori.

For now, she wanted to hold onto it just a little bit longer, just in case it came in need.


End file.
